I’m not taking a break. I’m closing it.
See, there are a few things that I’ve figured out lately.
The first is that Jesus never went to other people. He always waited for them to come to him, and was always available when they did. There are lots of lessons in that. But he even explained why he did this – and it involved tossing your pearls before swine. “Never toss your pearls before swine”, he said, “because the swine will stomp on your pearls, then go after you and tear you to pieces!”
And it’s true.
What is the purpose of this blog? To tell other people what I think? Why bother? The only people whom I really care what they think are the people that I occasionally go to lunch with, etc. Mark, Steve, et al., and in general my Facebook friends. That’s pretty much it. Why should I bother telling other people? What do I possibly hope to gain? Acceptance? That won’t happen, they’ll never accept me, and I know it. Helping others? Well, it might happen, but I think that ship sailed long ago. New friends? Hasn’t happened yet, and likely won’t.
I’m tossing my pearls before swine and they’re getting stomped on. Jesus was right.
Look, I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong before, and I’ll be wrong again. And sometimes people call me out on it, and sometimes I deserve it. Fine. But I’m no longer going to allow myself to get called out by people I don’t trust, who haven’t given me a reason to listen to their opinions. It’s not just blogging, but the Internet in general. I’m tired of the flame wars, I’m tired of the self-righteousness, I’m tired people going up to someone they haven’t met and deliberately trying to shove them into the ground over stupid, inconsequential things. The Internet is a wonderful tool, and it’s also an incredible downer, and I’m just not doing it anymore.
I’ve been a part of it for fifteen years now. I still believe that it has great potential. And I will continue to make it a part of my professional life. But my personal life? I’m… not so sure anymore. Not so sure at all.
Even if my pearls are wrong, they are way too valuable to put in front of millions of people who don’t give a flying fuck about them. Or me.
I don’t know if this will be my last personal blog. I might yet have something interesting to say. But you know what? At this moment, I hope it is.